homesick.

The split second before I sleep is the most active second of my life. I thought about so much last night.

I've realized that homesickness is just a state of mind for me. I’m always missing someone or someplace or something, I’m always trying to get back to some imaginary somewhere. Even when I'm at home, I am still homesick. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, I just don't feel welcome in my house anymore. I'm longing for something to make me feel at home, but I have trouble finding this thing.
My life has been one long longing.