I don't write like I used to. My writing used to be so filled with joy. I used to use beautiful words laced with meaning. My writing has disintegrated into the words I write now, so filled with dread and pointless sentences. I used to write for the mere pleasure of writing, but now I’m writing just so I don't cry. I'm writing because I do this when I don’t know what else to do with myself. My hands need to do things and my brain needs to put words out. So I’m writing.